Chicken Cottage

The chicken critics were this time pleased and united in their love of a strict, almost-monastic adherence to the principles of chicken restauranteurage laid out by the Colonel himself at this charming Clapham upmarket chickenasium. We were very impressed to discover a carbon copy of the sacred colour-scheme, photos and menu that has provided the staple tradition of Fried Chicken Britain for many years now. We were particularly also impressed by the patrons' ability to watch the whole of the holy golden frying process performed by skilled indigenous traditional chicken-chefs before us. While the chicken was first-class, we did feel slightly let down by the soggy green chips that accompanied the main dish, as well as the paltry size of baked bean portions on offer. Still, the Fried Chicken is always of course the primary concern and so our final score was a happy 6.3467/10.

Tasty Treats

Another lovely little London eaterie we discovered tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the 'hoi-polloi'. Serving not just Fried Chicken but, as the sign points out, kebabs and burgers as well. Our team of highly specialised and trained chicken critics were divided on this issue - some felt the purity of the Colonel's original vision had been somewhat diluted, while others strongly welcomed this innovative contemporary approach to high-street cuisine. All were agreed however that the quality of the hot wings was sublime and an almost bacchanalian pleasure to the palette. Equally sumptuous were the spicy fillet burgers and side-portions of coleslaw, although we did find that only offering cans of soft-drink imported from the near-east rather than paper cups filled from a special machine drenched in corporate insignia somewhat detracted from our otherwise very positive experience. High scores from the team overall despite the aforementioned deviances from that most sacred of foodstuffs, the Fried Chicken - 8/10.

The Colonel in Shepherd's Bush

Let's begin with this most classic of Fried Chicken establishments; a tried, genetically modified and tested favourite - Kentucky Fried Chicken aka KFC. This particular branch of the Colonel's extensive global empire is located in Shepherd's Bush, West London, and we sent our special team of chicken critics in to sample its mundane delights. We thought their Family Bucket Deal worth a special mention, truly a greasy gastronome's fantasy, while the free serviette policy was also most attractive. However we were mildly upset to discover them charging the outrageous and princely sum of tenpence per serving of mayonnaise. We gave them 7/10 overall... a good effort but no particular culinary flair, we were grateful not to find any pus-filled tumours in our fillet burger though.