Of Royal Descent

Royal, PFC

I live in Whitechapel, specifically on Whitechapel Road. This road is home to the most densely populated number of establishments selling fried food, of a chicken variety. As a new addition to this glorious website, I have taken it as my duty to visit each and every one of these fine purveyors of fried chicken based products.


To start, I have chosen a personal favourite. Royal, Perfect Fried Chicken. Now, being ‘perfect’ is usually good enough... but apparently, this chicken is fit for a king and queen! Before ever visiting RPFC, I already had high hopes.

I would slow down as I walked home to wistfully look at the interior, which, by the way is a class above the rest. With comfy faux leather dining chairs, a clean and friendly atmosphere, and a floor you could disco finger the night away on, I just couldn’t wait any longer.

Once inside, you are immediately greeted by the friendly and courteous staff. With a full ranging menu that reaches well beyond chicken products, you could enter time and time again, never boring of this full and frankly delicious looking menu.

But, this being Kings of Chicken, I did not stray from the goal in hand. Looking at the meal deals that they had on offer, I decided upon a 2 pieces, 3 hot wings meal. I was astonished to be asked if I had any preference on cuts. “Why, I do, could I have two breast pieces please?” He looked as if he did not understand. It could have been the thick Scottish accent, or maybe the surprise in my voice at being asked such a fundamentally right question, when such questions are all but never heard of!

Either way, he got the idea and after watching some television on their big screen TV. (presumably used for up to the date chicken news,) served me up a box, a bag and my choice of soft drink. The choice of drink I had was borderline pitiful, but having coke and sprite (the basics) made little difference to my overall experience.

Once home, I surveyed my purchase with maximum intensity, opened the box and found... chips... tons of chips. After a dig around, I unearthed some chicken, so I was first of all happy that our earlier translation problems had not ended in a catastrophic error and second of all that there then appeared to be so many chips that I couldn’t see any chicken. I fired into the wings first, big, juicy, but not at all spicy... a bit of a letdown. The third wing I had, had a little bit of a pinkish hue about it... being unsure, I left it to one side. I then moved onto the breast pieces, this was more than your regular quality chicken, big, succulent and with a nice crispy fried batter. Also, with a wing attached for that cheeky bonus.

For £3.50 for all this good scran and a can of coke makes this a superb deal. This coupled with friendly staff and a clean and relaxing atmosphere makes the Royal PFC truly fit for a king.

8/10

More to come,

Paul Mitchell... (chicken lover)

Junior Spesh

Chicken Lover approved






grotti

Kentucky Fried Chicken is "eating well", it's official.

Mum says so...

"You or Colonel? You lose!"

the exploits of these three very dedicated chicken lovers have been recently brought to our attention, we think the colonel would be proud.

Boufin

Yesterday was the first time I'd noticed the Chicken Ranch neatly tucked away behind Glasgow's Queen Street station and being heavily intae chicken at the moment, I simply had to make a quick stop and taste to see how these cunts run their ranch.

When it comes to chicken eateries first impressions are crucial. If even for a moment you doubt the credentials of the place, I'd say trust your instincts and walk away. With this place for example even just the name itself speaks volumes (Chicken Ranch..doesn't sound too appetizing) Also the logo looks more like it should be on the cheapest box of eggs from your local spar and not on the sign for a serious fast food restaurant. No surprises then that first impressions were fairly wobbly but still...I persevered. Inside the place was eerily quiet,  “doesn’t seem to be too many chickens getting fried in here” were my thoughts, but throwing caution to the wind I order the simplest burger on the menu, the £2.80 fillet...was a bit of a shock at the price as I thought the place looked cheap and nasty, but this didn't reflect on their chicken pricing structure.

 

The burger itself was honking, plain, soggy and warm. It tasted to me like a caged chicken sat on it to keep it toasty, everything bad about a chicken burger nothing good. Left me with one of those chicken migraines. Alas my quest for fried chicken fillet perfection continues.

 

4/10

Grotti, 25 OCtober 

Intae Chicken

A new “Chicken Cottage” has recently opened on Glasgow’s Sauchiehall Street. Interestingly the first restaurant on the street dedicated to fired chicken (and lamb chops). I’ve noticed these guys seem to be becoming somewhat of a Super Power in the world of processed chicken fast food, with rapid expansion of their diners around most UK cities. And being a fan of the food in general and having never tasted a Chicken Cottage in my life I felt now was the time to see what the Cottage had to offer. 

Naively I order the most expensive chicken burger on the menu the modest “Spicy Mountain”. Which looked like the KFC tower, with hash brown, cheese and slab /lump of fried chicken together with lettuce and mayonnaise – “all good” I thought. But to my surprise the burger was actually pure shite…. all of this rammed together in the bun tasted like a hot meaty mush. A bit too ambitious in their efforts, clearly taking away from the flavours of the coated chicken crumbs, which is what I believe can really make a chicken burger become like a cat amongst pigeons.

This all made me realise that when it comes to a fast fried chicken burger, the simple approach is almost certainly the best. A fine seeded bun, with a perfectly fried piece of finely coated chicken, fresh lettuce, a dollop of mayonnaise is all that is required to make – for me - a fried chicken perfection. So the Spicy Mountain made me feeling a little frustrated at my choice. But I suspect the other burger wouldn’t have been much better. As for the place itself generic high street chicken, but with the added bonus of internet access and plasma screens pumping out the latest chart smash, all very good and well, but my primary concern was the product itself and except for having Irn Bru as a drinks choice, was a big let down. It’s clear that Chicken Cottage is a follower and not a leader in the fried chicken business. I’m aware in my quest for the perfect Chicken Burger I’m going to have to look a little harder than Glasgow city centre.

2/5

Grotti, October 2009

Dixy Chicken

Aaaah, Dixy Chicken. Or is that (Dixy) Chicken? It is always important to emphasise parentheses correctly, especially where Fried Chicken is concerned.
Original birthplace of the Dixie Chicks, it is believed they once crawled out of the primordial polyunsaturated slime contained within the deep fat fryer.
Based in upmarket, trendy Birmingham, it is a wonderful little establishment, with a friendly and low-key clientele. It may often be seen on television, its popularity is so great - usually 'Booze Britain' or 'Police Camera Action'. Many a chicken drumstick has gracefully flown from the hand of a drunken punter into the face of an approaching policeman. I'm sure they were most appreciative - I know I would be.
The Fried Chicken itself is a taste sensation - and don't even consider leaving without a heavenly corn-on-the-cob. Only the nuggets let down the side - instead of a golden brown coating they featured a furry sludge. 7.04%/10